SEND ME A VIRUS

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Please. I really need it want it for the comp. After an insult and a broken leg and a virus ’cause I drunk some water from a well. I need a virus to send IT to the whole system to Haidas. Any suggestions?

 

TX CY

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ПРАЗДНИК КЕРЗАЧЕЙ

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После драки кулаками не машут и про сегодня надо писать вчера. Ну облажалась, ну пишу про вчерашний день. Но надо писательскую мышцу тренировать кажный день, как Ги де Мопассан писал, писал и стал писателем. Правда, скорее ето из-за того что он подхватил сифилис, и поэтому каждый день для него стал дорог, и он ускорил свою карьеру, а так наверное ещё лет двадцать грёб бы на лодке и трахал бы проституток. и остался бы в истории известен, как протеже Флобера. А так вот Пышку написал.

Сегодня 10-го мая и я всё ж таки решилась писать о Дне Победы, в народе также известном под кодовой датой – 9-ое мая. Хотя это слишком просто, так можно писать каждый день, ведь каждый день – это либо праздник, либо поминки, смотря какому календарю следовать. Каждый день – красный день календаря. Различие только в верованиях.

Так вот о девятом мае. Будучи в Литве и в гостях у старого Вильнюского панка, попивая кофе, этот день прошёл для меня незамеченным. И это понятно – ведь я нахожусь в Литве, и такие даты как День Победы, Красный День Календаря, 8-е Марта, 23-е февраля старательно перечеркнуты и занесенны в чёрный список. С первых дней независимости. В чём я согласна, – большинство из этих дат были праздником Силы и военной показухи. Акромя 8-го Марта. Все эти циферки означали одно, – танки на улицах, солдатики вышагивающие бодро и много красного цвета. Для нас конечно же в детстве это означало одно – выходной от школы и это очень радовало. Подрастая, как то не напрягали эти танки и униформы, и керзачи.

В 2014-м году, в контексте российских акций-выкидышей  в Грузии, на Украине, с информационной войной (очень модно ныне обсудить эту тему, – я иду в ногу со временем) солдатики раздражают и не нравятся. Мне не нравятся и радражают, я по наивности своей думаю, что день победы должен праздноваться как день Мира, мол, – ХУЙ ВОЙНЕ. Но для дня Мира есть другая циферка. Милитарный стиль с претензией на супер-державу пугает, – русских всё так же много атомных запасов, и они спокойненько могут бомбануть всю планету. Так в угаре, за Родину.

Двадцать милионнов в Вторую мировою, – это так мелочи. От Сталинских репрессий по-более людей было уничтоженно. Дык нет, – монгие русские люди очень любят кирзачи, мундир, приказ, и главнокомандующего. Чтоб порядок был. И как на фотографии, – и красные шоры на глаза, парадную музыку и рокот танковых моторов и вперёд за Родину. Путина царём называют, я бы его скорее в данной роли опредилила бы как Главнокомандующего. Как жаль что диктаторские мундиры уже не в моде, Путину бы пошло, а то слишком личико у него простое, без помпастики, хотя именно это и пугает. Такие незметные соседи, всегда при таких делах оказываются, что и в  “Bourne Identity, The” не увидишь.

Я очень рада что живу не под керзачём, а всё ж хоть слегка по-инвалидски, но всё ж таки демократичной Европе, парадам – пусть любители керзачей радуются, мне больше ботинки для прогулок в горах нравятся. Парад – это для тех кто предпочитает, чтобы за них подумали.

Красная площадь, керзачи, танки, мавзолей, – как по-этому ностальгировать можно? Одни герои войны молодцы, – но их уже не осталось. А памянуть их можно было бы и как нибудь по-другому, более мирно, без военной показухи.

Russia Victory Day

TO TRIM OR NOT TO TRIM PUNANI


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They say, mind a reading woman. Probably, meaning a reading woman is evil and dangerous. Remember the witch hunt? My friends the terrifying truth is, – I am reading! So, I have read recently some feminist information on when and why women started to trim vagina, something around to 90s. It happened that I just wrote an ode to Catherine’s Tramell’s (Sharon Stone) carefully trimmed vagina. And what it meant for me back then that famous leg cross, – a revelation to a virgin teenager, was an apogee of rough sophisticated eroticism, more adult than all “adult” movies I have seen, then.

Feminists say that trimming pussy is no good, ’cause it makes to look vulnerable and submissive and that is wrong. Woman’s role in the society is already vulnerable and submissive. I thought it just comfortable especially in the summer. And I thought vice versa to trim your pussy is kind of being dominant that meant to me, – my dear hunk first you lick it then you stick it. I remember a short term a boyfriend of me, I have asked him to go “down there” and he asked me rhetorically, – what is it an European Union? He is East European and meant now that his country in EU, – the customs changed. There were no licking in the Soviets.

Is it me only that live in the XXI century?!

So, trimmed and trimmed, LADIES! Trimmed and bikini. In the summer it is not possible not to trim “down there”, it is to warm. On the other hand feminists are right somehow. I have read (again gush I do read) in a glossy magazine that is aiming to build a perfect body in order “look better naked” for your (or not your) man. In that “naked” magazine, after every excise, all that reps, abs and sweat you are told to do , – after this program man will want to see you naked 40% more often, so be prepared (trimming included). Also that 90 % of the interviewed women are trimmed “down there” (that was an UK magazine). How to translate those per cents? That 90% are ready steady go?

Bushy is tickling and if you like titillation – let it grow. Still can I have bikini, trimmed punani and be a feminist? A perfect dilemma at midnight.

Bon nuit à tous!

Cordialement,

Toxi

 

p.s. I am in my homeland, folks! Inhaling aroma of ma mum’s tomato sprouts. Smells like Nina Ricci’s “Les Belles de Ricci” or like tomato’s sprouts!

 

IRELAND

It is already exactly one month I am in Ireland. I almost did not mention it at all, you know, – quiet family life sucks you in and at the end of the day I simply have no energy to sit and write, well, I have an excuse, – I am giving a helping hand with two little children. And I have missed my sister and her family. I am somehow all about red-letter days lately. And today is a family Day. I did not know about that my entire life but these days mighty cyber space spits into my face new dates, I would not have known they exist. Family life is very attractive, the fridge is full, there is always people to interact with. Though the little ones are driving you crazy. Baby (almost one years old), for example, today wanted me exclusively for himself, the whole day, he got the message that his mum is busy. That is crazy, my arms hurt. I understand now why Rowling (Harry Potter) was going to cafe in order to write her book. By the way she is a single parent, and she mentioned that even now when she is a multimillionaire and success story but people still see her as a “single mother” and that is gossip behind her back, she says. I find it rather amusing, rich famous and with stigma as “single mum” what to talk about us then simple mortals, poor and not famous?

The whole world is carried on the shoulders of a mother for ages. Countless wars, poverty, when the fathers had to go away for work and children would be grown up for years not seeing their fathers. I think only aristocrats could have a full family with mother and fatehr but still they would have there own troubles. Busy life, not loving each other, sudden lost of their riches. Why would be a single mother stigmatized? There always two in a relationship, two have done something wrong.

Seeing here the little ones, – yes they do need both parents and I wish them to have that for the rest of their life – full family, all members.

Maybe Ireland is a right place for that. Irish are famous for their huge families, 10 children were normal some decades ago. Now three is the norm, often there four children in family. A bit craze for me but seems they are cool with that. Or it might be because they the law forbids an abortion. I don’t if there is a direct link but every week a suicide of young females. I have not heard of so many people falling into to river and sinking. Shannon river seems to me a deadliest river. It looks so peaceful, at least now without rain. I have spotted a lot of families on the riverside. All those copper gold girls with long hair playing and having fun.

I better write weather reports.

 

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PATRIOT’S SONG ON FIRST OF MAY

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Writer Leo Tolstoy called feeling of patriotism bad and harmful that causes many disasters and it is leading to war.

In the CCCP, on the contrary, patriotism was taught with special diligence, starting from school. The Russian state became a legal successor of the Soviet course in this direction. And Crimean crisis undoubtedly actualized agenda with full throttle. Song and Dance Ensemble of the Russian Army Alexandrov , former role model of once Bolshoi Soviet style , again assumes the role of a loudspeaker of the Russian patriotism. It is this ensemble performed the song on ” polite people.” Song promises that ” we’ll be okay ,” and polite people,  that are wearing “polite” helmets and even their steel machines are “polite”, “will save  the honor and glory of the Motherland.”  (Russian Forbes writes, more or less).

Probably we can continue that Russian tanks are polite and they will politely occupy Ukraine, in order to save. I smell some kind of complex of the Russians, they hysterically are trying to find, crystallize  and present the Russian Idea well packed and digestible to the masses.  It is already 23 years in all post-Soviet republics goes on a hard job on redefining identity, it is not an easy task in our drastically changing world of globalization and neo liberilism, when a rich Socialist state is gone for good. Farewell to neo liberalism, it is what it is and it can not to reach the new heights. And now there is some kind of politics of Putin “for the masses”, some of the jerks are completely excited that Russian “rotten” intelligentsia is surprised and disappointed of this turn. Tsar is turning back on them, the poor intellectuals they are the minority and of no interest. Tsar is thinking of the “simple” people. So, for the “simple” people with a background of a strong military breeding it is important to have a strong “roof” to cover them up. Well, Russian do not differ much  from the other Big nations. Americans buy pink riffles to their daughters. Pro-tsarists are excited and mock Russian intelligentsia. That is not too intelligent to drive to exile (it is called the Fifth wave, starting from 1917) all that bright humans, as well to suppress arts. Bolsheviks have done something smart back then, – they gave sometime to flourish to the artists and intellectuals after the October revolution. That how the concept the style of Soviets was defined and polished then they strangled them all. Now they just continue what once was started, almost 100 years ago. In any case Russian always liked the idea of a strong “fist” that keeps them in terror. They like a fist-job. Just a bloody history repeating.

It is best described in a novel “Generation P” of Pelevin. A gangster Vovchik Maloi (Small)  in Moscow of the 90s (special breed of the gangsters) ordered to a creator Tatarsky concept of  Russian national idea. All that because Vovchik Maloi was upset to go abroad and not be able to proud of being Russian (Courchevel?). Creating such a concept did not work Tatarsky even with a help of the spirit of Che Guevara. The next morning Tatarsky learned that Vova Small was killed during clashes with the Chechens. 

All that spiced up with a fanatical faith. I grew up in Soviets and I wonder from where all these fanatics of the age 40+ are from?! Where they were hidden? My grandmother was religious, all her children baptized (illegally), I was baptized illegally. But it did not stop her to believe in Stalin until her deathbed. She told me she was crying when Stalin died. She was not fanatical, but it was some kind of strange mish mash. I can compare it to Haiti believers, with voodoo rituals and chickens paw.

As they say, you don’t choose for motherland and religion. Is it that way still? I doubt. Wizards of images making are re-inventing Russian idea. This year they have orginized a parade for 1st of May. That is after 23 years. Why? Because it is still appeals to Russians, and it is a “simple” folk’s red letter’s day to get out with the red (oeps, tricolor) flag on the Red square and to be proud of being Russian. Sick and tired of all that national pride.

Slaves+Orthodox+Kokoshnik+Patriotic Song+Tsar+ Polite Fist

I am confused. I am politely threatened by polite gun machine hold by polite robocops.

 

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WASTE YOUR VALENTINE’S DAY

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or, how I feed my consumerist whoredom.

Actually I am celebrating my one year in wordpress.com blogging and bragging and moaning and complaining and swearing and being mean and dirty and THANK YOU LADIES AND GENTLEMEN FOR READING ME! I have written my second text on 13-02-2014 and have posted it on 14-02-2015.

Are you allergic to Valentine ’s Day? Then you can read the following down here text. Otherwise you will hate me for spoiling it.  Fortunately enough I am called Toxicana Cyber and I have rather thick skin. Or I imagine that I have thick skin.

You might remember your first Valentine card, – as a child you have an itchy thought  to which girl/boy to address a Valentine card,  – especially when it was a multiple choice, – then you have had a super itch. How would she/he/them react? Would you receive a card from your “obscur objet du désir”? You start to waste your time:  instead of just approaching straight forward your object of love, you scratch your heart.  As a result you learned how to wait for bloody special date to approach your maybe-to-become-your-future sweet heart forever or just express yourself. Spartan approach to love would be, – Μολών λαβέ! Come and get it!

When you are a child it is fun, easy going, in a form of game fest.  But when you are a teenager, the gates of hell are wide open. All the insecurities are hitting the top on this very day. Is s/he or is s/he not? In love. With you. Will s/he… send you this wonderful card with cute little hearts and angels on it. All your life concentrates on this piece of printed or self-made (how important for it to be self-made!!!) piece of  paper.  Luckily enough I rather skipped a lot of years of this itch, ‘cause I am from not existing country – CCCP  and we started to have this custom very last years of gymnasium. I don’t have a proper attachment to this date. Still my mind would cross some flashes, like: “We should do something special today with my mate, maybe, to go to Planetarium. We never went to Planetarium together.” Planetarium is here for the whole year and I am sure it has no special program for St. Valentine ’s day. Why to go? Even the program wants me to write it Valentine’s “Day”,  “D” upper case. So, it is The Day. Birthday is a bigger day for me, and no upper case, why?  It should be Birth Day.

And that is just ONE DAY per year. So what with the rest 364 days? As the pop culture states:  “FUCK VALENTINE’S DAY, – I LOVE YOU EVERYDAY!”, – mainly that announce males’ t-shirts. You would say, – a male is less romantic. I would say what could be more romantic to love every day? The female is traditionally more pragmatic, she has an urge to know for sure if she is loved. A paper with a stamp, pleaaase. Not to mention she craves for attention in form of (preferably expensive) gifts, – because SHE IS WORTH IT! Believe me, – in my early twenties I wanted the gifts and nothing else. Very consumerist  I am, he?  I am not, – I am an alien from another planet.

I quite accustomed how CORPORATION starts pushing slooowly on us all the Valentine’s “feeling”. The very special day for the very special lovers. It’s starts after the Christmas, with the first birds, – the movie trailers with a major theme St. Valentine in the cinema, then the special offers to travel for the special day (Secret escapes, sss), then at last the chocolate comes, all those hues of red, and hearts, hearts, angels, angels. It evaluates completely the meaning of love, the very core of it. At last you are just being bombed by whatever product : special edition, of’ ‘cause, or “special” price, according to your wallet. Your love is a treasure my little precious birdies, buy a treasure from us!  And music, music “My funny Valentine”, and movies, movies on all TV’s, and social networks full of the fluffiness.

Gifts’ n cards’ fever breaks me nerves. I can’t compose myself even when I see so-called progressive, avant-garde or “funny”, humorous little shits for a gift.

This year 14th of February is even more special, – (oh, my gosh 1402 2014!). Probably it is even more remarkable to get married this day, as the first Christians did, that why St. Valentine was executed on this day, for he was illegally marrying them. Listen to that, – executed (probably), the couples illegally married. What to be happy about on this date? That love is illegal? That some guy passed away on this day, perhaps went through a torture? Though it is not reliable the whole story about St. Valentine. He might even have been only a Martyr, not a Saint. In any case we should love and to be loved today. The rest of the year, – forget love!

The question is : why should I feed consumerist whoredom?  I have wasted enough of my energy, time on the whole procedure and ridiculously enough – I wasted a lot of love yes, love, you read it right ‘cause I am obliged to love or to show extensive love on this day that could last for couple of months in hibernation mode. My decision is to waste my Valentine’s day and to be critical about it.

Strangely enough my limb system whispers me, – I love you guys more than ever on this “the Day”! That reflects I am no better than the other mammals. And I overate chocolate, almost on the verge of nervous breakdown!

I have attached two samples of pop-art that I fished out today.

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