write waste write

The worst happened, – I have lost my text. Now I have to re-write it that is awful and I have no choice. Sure nobody will be hurt if I do not rewrite, no hard feelings towards me neither. Just it is so unfinished. I am not done with you!

I write as I think and I think as write. Usually the best free style writing happens at night, when I am in bed and full of hopes to fall asleep immediatly. Ha! It is almost never happens. I can be dead from tiredness nevertheless I will wide awake wishing to die. I have made some experiences of not writing, – it does not work, I would stay until 10 AM in bed with no sleep. So, I stop forcing myself and I just scribble down all my great ideas and then come back to bed. Strangely enough all my great refreshingly new ideas become old and outdated in the sun rays next morning. My “news” ain’t “news” anymore like in fashion business, – tomorrow is today. It might be everything in life better to do something today you thought to do tomorrow. Procrastination rules the worlds. Lazy me thinks too this way, – why to do something today if I can do it tomorrow?!

And I write, and I write and I waste my precious time you say better I earn more money or spend more time with ma famiglia or whatever more. The thing is that I do not feel well if I do not. It is very important to write for me for my precious mental health. I better be a graphomaniac than any other with ending “maniac”. It is the way of debugging meself or kinda of antivirus program. And luckily it works!

and a flag into my hands, a train towards me, and an acidic sky overhead and a hell a lot of inspiration and workaholism. So I sit and write, write, write, like that bipolar schizoid artist Adolf Adolf Wölfli sentenced for a rape of three girls that wrote autobiographical book of 45 volumes, 25 000 pp. Good for him, – too bad for the little girls.

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