– Do something more useful! You are chained to the screen like an Austrian soldier to a cannon during WWI, – the voice of my ex-partner G5 explodes in my head. Further would follow complaint that I am losing my precious time on all kind nonsense, all the groups and blogs and vlogs and twits, that I should be more constructive and write a book. He was humorous though labeling the topics of my constant blablabla “who is better man or woman”, or is it me now just imagining stuff? You never know, human memory is a tricky thing.
The past ruins in front of my eyes in multicolored kaleidoscopic pieces of a broken glass. As many times you shake kaleidoscope of the past, as many different interpretations of the same event you get. Mine kaleidoscope is in black and white lately.
I blush remembering all the criticism I had received from G5 about my severe addiction to all kind of social nets. Now I have an answer for him, – it is better to be chained to a cannon than to a cannonball! Compare to a cannonball of the rest of my addictions and manias, – this chain is just peanuts. Less destructive but making my brain like a chewing gum of unknown content. The endless chewed by somebody for me nets, smets, smacks, chats, news, the photographs of cute kittens with nonsense titles, postcards, video clips, documentaries, reviews, you name it.
…and here I go!!! Finally I got it after so many years of expensive education and a lot of anticipation, or maybe of psychic constipation, – my very own useless blog. With a very noble purpose, – to write about what a beautiful morning it was today under fabulous blue Attica’s sky. Ha! I have managed to unchain myself only for 10 min to rush to the closest whatever-it-is to get my morning coffee, after 3 hours of being awake. And another 10 min to collect the dry laundry on the roof, I admit, it was under unbearably romantic silverish full moon. You live for those moments.
He was so right my ex-G5. I am a slave of a keyboard and screen, full time. Even some years ago all my jobs were mainly here – wired. So my brain is meshes from this afternoon, something of the surrealistic avant-garde movie by Maya Derens “Meshes of the Afternoon”, aphorisms taken out of the context that I really dislike, – the aphorisms, – not M. Derens, random music, feministic pages and a lot more. You know that I am not alone in this trouble called “ON”. Bit of this, bit of that and at the end of the day I am a perfect mish mash. I understood that I am a complete mish mash in my dream where the UN soldiers in shape of aliens, with moves of zombies from MJ clip, were fighting white Africans with the features of Negroid race but just white. And where?! In Somalia’s city where the buildings were in shape of Mayan pyramids.
Even two weeks of de-meshing (or unmeshing) myself on a island in the mountains alone did not help. ‘Cause I was craving for my meshes. I was waiting for this very moment to be in this info-whirl.
Today I cheated myself to stay at home. Lucky me! My now-on G6 fell ill with angina, so the poor thing needs a treat. What a cow’s pie! He is sleeping the whole day, he does not need anybody! I just was craving to open a blog and it would take me a whole day. Plenty of questions, what language to write, mother language, second mother language, or pigeon English etc. In any case – my blog does not differ at the very core of it. It is a “selfie”. Distorted, full of egocentrism, self love, narcissism, through my kaleidoscopic screen filled with a lot of pain and dirt, sarcasm and beauty, sunsets and mountains, moonlight on the see that looks like a lake, nine Beaufor stormst, and hurricane force. Willkommen to my on the blade’s edge World!
p.s. And, oh… I love you!